Transcript: Portrait of Jason

Hi, this is Jim Nicola. I’m the Artistic Director of New York Theatre Workshop

While we find ourselves right now in the digital space reaching far beyond the brick walls of our theatre on East 4th Street, our theater stands on the island of Manhattan. Manhattan has always been a gathering and trading place for many Indigenous peoples, where Nations intersected from all four directions since time immemorial. It was a place to gather and sometimes a place to seek refuge during times of conflict and struggle.

The artists, the staff and trustees of New York Theatre Workshop pay respect to all of their ancestors, the present members of those communities and to their future generations. We acknowledge that our theater, and its work, is situated on the island of Manhattan (Menohhannet – On the Island) traditional lands of the Munsee Lenape, the Canarsie, the Unkechaug, the Matinecock, the Shinnecock, the Reckgawanc and the Haudenosaunee Confederacy. We respect that many Indigenous people continue to live and work on this island and acknowledge their ongoing contributions to this area. We’d also like to thank Chief Harry Wallace, Kevin Tarrant, Muriel Borst-Tarrant and Safe Harbors New York City Indigenous Collective for helping us craft this statement.

And now, here is Hilton Als Presents Portrait of Jason.

 

A little radio static

The sound of a radio being tuned.

A brief clip from Meshell Ndegeocello’s “Ballin 2.”

The dial is turned again, and we hear static mixed in with a line from the film of “Portrait of Jason” (“My name is Jason Holliday, my name is Jason Holiday, my name is Aaron Payne”)
the dial is turned again

We land on the intro from Mercury Theater on the Air- Julius Caesar starring Orson Welles

ANNOUNCER
And so tonight, Orson Welles and the Mercury Theater on the Air open a new cycle of broadcast dramas with a radio production of their greatest stage production to date- Shakespeare’s Caesar. And here is Orson Welles himself to tell you about.

ORSON WELLES
Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Julius Caesar was produced last year by the Mercury Theater…

We start to fade from Welles’ voice–as if turning a dial on a radio–to other bits of static, perhaps, some music from the old Mercury Theater on Air Theme Song

The Mercury Theater on Air Theme Song starts to fade, and we hear Meshell Ndegeocello’s Cword instrumental, which plays for a few beats. The radio rights itself and we hear:

HILTON ALS
Over a bit of the Cword Instrumental music that eventually fades

No, ladies and gentlemen, this isn’t Orson Welles–we’ll return to him in a minute–it’s your obedient servant, Hilton Als, here with the wonderful team from New York Theatre Workshop to bring you “Portrait of Jason.” Adapted and directed by me from the 1967 film by Shirley Clarke, (music stops) the movie is a record of an event, the event being Jason himself, a queer black man the estimable Clark thought to record on film in one twelve hour stretch.

Don’t worry, our adaptation won’t lead you from day to night; what we have done, though, in condensing certain elements of the film, and adding a little improvisation, is to reframe Jason, so to speak, thus devising a piece about performance, and the transformative power of the voice—and, my God, what voices, ranging from the composer of our musical score, Meshell Ndegeocello, to the great actors Mikéah Ernest Jennings, and Jessica Almasy, who play Jason and Shirley, respectively. I, myself, even have a small walk on part.

Pause. Meshell Ndegeocello’s “Ballin’ Instrumental” is playing, and plays very softly under

But before I let you go, a further word about Orson Welles. When I was a kid, my brother, mother and I lived in trying circumstances; one source of escape was the radio, and, at the time, they played old programs my mother was familiar with, Orson Welles as the crimefighter, “The Shadow,” among them. Since then, I’ve felt a debt of gratitude to Welles for becoming my imagination’s radio back then, just as Jason becomes its voice now. Hopefully, we can transport you just a bit, too. To paraphrase the great maestro’s Shadow: Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men? Listen to Jason, and you just might hear yourself.

Electric hum and then static

SHIRLEY
Static underneath
Miss Shirley Clarke, Portrait of Jason, Roll 1, Sound 1.
Okay, roll it.

Click of a button

Sound rolling.
Camera rolling.
Okay, Jason. Go.

Sounds of movement

JASON
My name is Jason Holliday. [Laughs] My name is Jason Holliday. [Laughs] My name is Aaron Payne. [Laughs]

SHIRLEY
What do you mean Aaron Payne?

JASON
Aaron Payne. That was my given name. And in San Francisco I got hung up with a group of people that were under the influence of someone who was changin’ people’s names to suit their personalities, and, uh, I changed my name. Jason Holliday was created in San Francisco, cause San Francisco [laughs] is a place to be created, believe me.

SHIRLEY
Didn’t you like the name Aaron Payne?

JASON
As Aaron Payne, I… I was… further out than I am now but I was…

Oh, well, everyone has unpleasant memories that lead to the state of depression, and I just thought… people in San Francisco had personalities that were suiting their names, and I thought if I gave myself another name, I’d give myself another chance, and be [laughs] happier. And I dug being called Jason. And like all my hip friends and the people that I knew, I told ‘em my name is Jason now and they call me that. But a few evil people, you know, [laughs] every now and then they’ll call ya Aaron. [Laughs]

And I remember once in San Francisco I told Miles Davis, I said my name is Jason, [laughs] and Miles said, “Shit! That ain’t none of your name.” [Laughs]. But he was hip enough to call me Jason. And as Jason, I really have, uh, discovered a new personality. A lazy cat. [Laughs] I’ve always wanted to really jump into it, but I kept avoiding it somehow, like I made an excuse for accepting other people’s problems and puttin’ down my own. And I always became this one or that one’s flunky, or anything to keep from facing what I really wanted to do.

And now I kinda like want to do it, [Laughs] and Jason is sorta giving me the strength to do it. Like I came back to New York after being away for three, four, five years, and some old friends that you don’t even see anymore, I told ‘em my name was Jason, and [Laughs] uh, I was able to establish that. I got the Social Security card, Jason Holliday. I have a cabaret license. [Laughs] believe me, there’s something to the name, you know. If the name rings a bell to you and it makes you feel well, then take the name.

Sound of a click and electric hum.

Slight static

Click
SHIRLEY
What do you do for a living, Jason?

JASON
I hustle. [Laughs]

SHIRLEY
[Laughter]

JASON
I’m a stonewhore. [Laughs] And I’m not ashamed of it. Like I have a friend in this town who’s a schoolteacher, who doesn’t teach in the public school system, but she goes from house to house teaching kids that can’t go to school. And one day on the street she said something, very…very hip. She said, “Jason, everyone in New York has a gimmick, and mine is teaching school.” So, I found out that mine was hustlin’. [Laughs]. Now I have more than one hustle. I’ll come on as a maid or a butler or a flunky; anything to keep from punchin’ the clock from nine to five, because every time I’ve punched that clock from nine to five It’s been a job that’s been such a drag it makes you sick. [Laughs]. And what I really want to do is what I’m doing now is perform. And you just, you get hung up. I’m, I’m scared of responsibility. I’m, [laughs] I’m scared of myself because, uh, I’m a pretty frightenin’ [laughs] cat, you know. People that know me well tell you that. But, like, I don’t mean any harm, but the harm is done, you know. Like a friend of mind says, “If there’s a way of fouling it up, you’ll find a way.” [Laughs]. And yet I’m tryin; all the time, to get in there and pitch.

Electric hum sound of a click

Static underneath the following:

SHIRLEY
Out. All right.

JASON
And so now I think that I’m just gonna just—

SHIRLEY
Keep sound rolling.

JASON
Force myself. I’m—

Static stops, sound of a click

SHIRLEY
Okay…

JASON
I’m making the scene now at Bellevue with two headshrinkers, psychiatrists, [laughs] and these are cats that get into your business [laughs] you know, and then you gotta be hip enough for just how much of your business you wanna let ’em get into. So, you, you [laughs] go and get yourself together [laughs] and you go there, and you turn ‘em on. This other cat, one doctor, the past couple of weeks, just keeps harpin’ on sex. Well, sex is the thing I’m tryin’ to forget, because I’ve spent so much of my life bein’ sexy, [laughs] as you can see, [laughs] that I haven’t gotten anything else done. You dig? I’ve been ballin’ from Maine to Mexico. I haven’t got a dollar to show for it, but I had a swell time [laughs] you understand?

But then it comes the point in your life where you gotta say, all right, uh, okay, you know, sex has got to go; cool it. [Laughs]. A very prominent jazz musician girlfriend of mine told me she went three years, you know, without touchin’ anybody You gotta get interested in bread. Bread is money, and if you keep ballin’ your life away, [laughs] eh, there’s no money involved. Next thing you know, [laughs] you’re skinny and narrow [laughs] and ain’t nothing happenin’.

And then, like a friend of mine said, I spent eight years bein’ a lover, and now I wanna learn how to play the bass. [Laughs] You understand? Well, that’s been the story of my life. So now I am, you know, like, uh, pleasin’ myself, you know. I think about where I’ve been and how groovy it’s been and, uh, like no more too much carryin’ on. Maybe, like, on special occasions like, uh, Valentine’s Day [laughs] and Christmas, and your birthday, you know, and a full moon Saturday night, you know. But other than that, you can’t let it be a hang-up. Hang-ups. That’s the story of people’s lives. That’s the reason you don’t get anything done. You’re hung up, [laughs] you know. And everybody wants what isn’t good for ‘em, or what…the grass is always greener, you know. And me, [laughs] I guess I’m a male bitch [laughs] you know, because I go out of my way to unglue people, you know. The ones that I think that have tendencies that might make it or fake it. Oh, I come on to them (static) strong. [Laughs.]

SHIRLEY
Okay, cut.

A click

Three chimes

A click, slight hum and static

SHIRLEY
Rolling.

A click, sounds of movement

JASON
Would you get me a drink please? Would you get me a drink please? Thank you. Wow.

You know, sometimes, when you get uptight, you have to have a way to, um, really function, you know? When you don’t wanna go and punch a clock from nine to five, you have to have some kind of gimmick, [laughs] something that you do.

And, um, I got hung up bein’ a houseboy, and I have, uh, enjoyed it quite a bit. I didn’t know what thing from the other from bein’ a houseboy. I got a book from the library [laughs] and I found out, you know, how much wrong can you do? And I can cook a little bit, and I can do a little bit of this and a little bit of that. And once you get involved with people like that, after they get to dig ya, you can cover up for a lot of things that you don’t do. [Laughs]. They’ll tolerate for the satisfaction. That’s that little extra you give ‘em. And I was workin’ in San Francisco for a very rich woman up on Nob Hill who was a riot. This woman was a camp. [Laughs] And she had an alcoholic husband. She had one husband she had buried [laughs] out in Berkeley, and I used to go over there every weekend and take his laundry, and he’d give me twenty dollars or so, and he’d always say to me, “How is that woman?” [Laughs] And I’d say, well, you know, she’s trying. And he said, “Yes, she always gets everything so confused.” [Laughs]. And I found that amongst the rich, when you say they’re confused, [laughs] that’s a terrible insult. It’s a nice way of sayin’ that they’re crazy.

And I went on from there, you know. And I’ve had, uh, different houseboy jobs where, um, you have to, uh, they think that, uh…well they wanna have a lot of fun with ya, you know. Like one woman, a rich woman said to her friend one day, she says, “I would like to get rid of all the servants I have and get a nice one like Jason.” She said, how lucky you are, Bernice, to have such a handsome young man to wait on you,” you know. And I’m bowin’ and scrapin.’

But she hipped me to somethin’ I didn’t know that maids and houseboys and people do. She says, “You know,” she said, “I gotta tell ya about you people,” and she meant colored, I’m [laughs] sure. And She’d say, “You know what them maids do.” She said, “I’ll never have another maid.” She said, “You can buy five cans of lobster” [laughs] “you see three.” See I didn’t know, you know, so that’s why I always carry around a little bag [laughs] you know. “So, when you go home,” she said, “Every time you look up, they got somethin’ in their stash.” [Laughs.] You know, so she said, you get six cans of soup, four turn up in the cupboard. They got one goin’ out the door with her.” She said, “They think you don’t notice,” you know. Oh, she was a riot. [Laughs] I’ll never tell. [Laughs]

SHIRLEY
Hey, Jason. Tell that cop story.

JASON
Okay.

Click

Electric hum

Click

JASON

Life’s full of consequences.

Ice rattling in a glass

SHIRLEY
Do the “I’ll never tell” bit.

JASON
You now, [Laughs] I never told you about the time I, um, spent a little vacation in Riker’s Island, and while I was there, I met a lot of fabulous people. There was one particular friend of mine in the blocks. She was a drag queen, and she called herself Kitty Cunt. [Laughs] And the guards used to say, “Who are you?” She’d say, “I’m Miss Cunt.” [Laughs] “I’m the cunt woman.” [Laughs] And there was other fabulous characters there like Louis Beavers and Kay Francis and… [Laughs]

I never got into that name bag. I used to ask Kay, now what’s your stage name, girl? [Laughs] So one day we were on 14th street where Mis Cunt used to work [laughs] and she and Miss Beavers and a couple of children are standin’ on the corner. And I’m usually so grand, you know, like when I see these people I love ‘em, you know, you can’t keep ‘em in closed corners, but on 14th street and 3rd avenue, what could I do? So I bump into ‘em and so Miss Cunt has got a few things that she’s snatched outta clients, and Miss Beavers is trying to help her get rid of ‘em, and they’re finger poppin’ and carryin’ on in the street, and I don’t believe my eyes, you know.

Ice rattling in a glass

It’s nowhere near Christmas, you know. So, just, just poppin’ [snaps fingers] and, and so.

[Laughs] Ice rattling in a glass

The cop says, to one of ‘em, to Beaver, says, “Why you girls” [snaps fingers] “always do this?”

Ice rattling

And she says [snaps fingers] “I’ll never tell.” [Laughs]

SHIRLEY
Wow. [Laughs]

Sound of someone drinking

Good

Ice rattling

Right. [Laughs.]

Click, electric hum and slight static

JASON
[Laughs] Yes, I think as a houseboy, I really suffered. [Laughs] Da-da- da-da. [Laughs]

Click

Static disappears

JASON
But this hasn’t all been a waste because these people are fascinating, you know. I mean, they think he’s just a dumb, stupid little colored boy. You’re tryin’ to get a few dollars and they’re gonna use you as a joke, and it gets to be a joke sometime as to who’s usin’ who, you know. [Laughs]. So, I mean, as long as they pay enough, whatever they say do, I’ll do, but some of ‘em are pretty ridiculous.

Like I walked—worked for one once, a tall, lanky, sad lookin’ blonde from Alabama. And all she claimed that her father had been head of, uh, City Stores or something’ like that. And she had a southern accent, [laughs] and she was being kept by a very nice cat who owned a big business downtown. And she’d enter the room—this woman this woman was so crazy— [laughs] she had a dress with lampshades made like the dress and draperies, and it was plaid taffeta, and it was a one room apartment on East 64th Street. [Laughs]

And she was always dashing madly, you know. And I’d be in the house doing nothing, [laughs] you know, like sitting on my behind reading the magazine or eatin’ up all the lobster or eatin’ [laughs] up all the snails, and the minute I hear her comin’, I’d get busy. And she’d enter and say, “Jason, Jason has Ettica been here? Fix me some of my chicken.” [Laughs] They always want chicken, you know, [laughs] ‘cause they know all colored folks know how to fix chicken. I’ll be in the kitchen fryin’ my ass off, you know. [Laughs] “Yes, Miss Howard.”

So then one day she said to me, um,” Jason,” she said, “We’re gonna have a little party.” And I was in the kitchen doin’ all the work, and I said, “Oh, no,” I said, “Miss Howard, I don’t wanna come out and talk with the guests.” You always say that, you know, but, you know, you probably got all the guests’ phone numbers. [Laughs] You tell ‘em no, you don’t really mix ‘cause, you know, you’re there to work. And, oh, they say, come on out. She said, “Well, it’s Halloween,” she said, [laughs] “You won’t hurt anything.” She said, “You’ll just be another spook.” I looked at this bitch and smiled, [laughs] and I said, “Yes, I’ll be right out.” [Laughs]

And then I came out and, um, I had my drink. Then you take your humble position back again. And then one of ‘em said to me once, she said, “Jason, I never really much liked niggers and you the first one I ever really cared for.” And I said, “Oh, that’s very sweet of you,” [laughs] I said. “Well then I should have this position a long time.” [Laughs] Oh, when I go back in the kitchen, I said, “I wish she’d drown dead.” [Laughs]

And, oh, they’re very nice to you at Christmastime.

They just—they take everything they give you, everything they give you; just take it. And, uh, they, um [laughs] they have a thing goin’. Yeah, there’s a lotta material there. And I’ll
sound of ice rattling faintly

give you some more of it a little later.

Sound of ice rattling faintly.

Whoo, I’ve got to tell. Ah.

SHIRLEY
Okay, bring him in.

Sound of movement

Coming in.

Sound of breathing. A car horn in the distance. Jason laughing faintly.

Click

Three chimes

Click an electric hum and static

Okay, Jason

Click. Static disappears.

JASON
Yeah, there’s lots of, uh, material.

Ice rattling.

There’s lots of material. Uh, I was fortunate enough once to work for a very nice Negro lady who’s a jazz singer and she’s kinda beautiful.
And she came and she and I have been friends for a long, long time, and on the road someplace her maid quit, and there I was jumpin’ into that maid bag again. [Laughs] She bailed me outta town, shipped me to New York, and then she arrived later.

Well, we went through some very funny scenes. [Laughs]. I was a nervous wreck. [Laughs]. I don’t know what from, but I was just nervous bein’ back in New York. Every time I heard her comin’, I used to run in the bathroom [Laughs} She’d go this way, I’d go the other way. [Laughs]

 

JASON
So one day I took my pills early in the morning, you know, my sparkle plenty pills, as some old white lady I used to work for called ‘em. She said, “Jason, you want to sparkle plenty?” [Laughs] So I used to keep me a little stash of sparkle plenties.

So I used to take my pill, and I took it early this morning, and then Carmen…I got out in the house and I forgot myself. I cleaned the whole house; you know how some of them pills can make you work. I scrubbed and I washed, and I did everything. So Carmen came in and she dug the house, you know, [Laughs] everything was…she said, “God damn,” [Laughs] she said, “You got somethin’ done.”

So another day I was dusting, and I’m a very nervous duster. [Laughs] Don’t ever give me anything of value that you cherish to dust, (Shirley laughing in the background) ‘cause I will beak it. [Laughs] Some things I broke on purpose. [Laughs] Some things were accidents. So I’m dustin’ the china closet out in the hall one day, this gorgeous vase on there, and I’m dustin’ this way and lookin’ out the window. All of a sudden, boom! [Laughs] Carmen said, “Wouldn’t you know it? Now, that thing’s been up there three years, and you have to come along in two weeks and it’s on the floor.” She said, [Laughs] “You know, Jason,” she says, “I don’t think you can see too well.” [Laughs] I had bifocals. Everybody kidded me. She said, “With them sunglasses.” I used to work in sunglasses. That was so they couldn’t see what I was thinkin’, you know. [Laughs]. She said, “You take them damn Coca-Cola bottles off, and you get you some clear glasses, and you clean this house or I’m gonna throw you out the mm-mm window.” [Laughs] And then I got hysterical and laughed.

Well, don’t every laugh at anybody when they’re mad, especially when you’re workin’ for ‘em. But I lost my head, you know. And when I got hysterical, she [laughs] got ready to boot me out the door, I pack up my things. I said, “Look, I’ve had enough. I’m gettin’ outta here. I can’t stand no more. I…” And I’m tryin’ to stop up my tears, ‘cause I’m a great crier, and weepin’. I got to the door and Carmen said, “Oh, Jason,” she says, “Come on back in the house and don’t cry.” [Laughs]. She has an album she made, and I think she really is thinkin’ about me when she sings that song. She sings, “Come on back in the house and don’t cry.” [Laughs]

So, like, maybe being a houseboy isn’t a drag too much.

But, um, doing all these things, in the back of my mind I’ve been tellin people so long that I’m going on the stage, till it’s gotten to be such a joke some people say, what stage, you know? [Laughs] A stage of confusion. [Laughs] A piano player friend of mine says, um, “Where you goin’ is crazier.” But, um, I’ve been told, and I do believe it, that I have a lot of talent. But it’s nice in the kitchen, and it’s nice in the bedroom, and it’s nice in the livin’ room, you know. [Laughs] And it’s nice, at the end of the day, to walk away with a few coins that you have had fun earning.

As I say, my motto is find out what you need to get through a day, make some provisions for getting it, and don’t bug anybody, and you can go along a long way that way.

But I am working on a nightclub act, seriously. I’m working with a very fine piano player, a very talented guy. And I have, after all these years of livin’, like a piano player friend of mind told me years ago, he says, “When you sing a song or you do a bit, it has to be about something’. [Laughs] You have to do it from experience. He said, “If you haven’t had any experience, to go out and get some.” [Laughs] Well… If I’d been a ranch [laughs] they’d a named me the Bar None because, uh, [Laughs] I’ve been gettin’ experience comin’ and goin’. [Laughs]

So the three things I wanna tell is, like, uh, I wanna start off like a real swingin’ hip cat (snaps fingers) that’s been around, and I’m just gonna let my modesty blaze, you know, turban, tux, umbrella, the whole bit. Dance, sing, go crazy. And then from that I’m gonna go for a few minutes into a bitchy bag, you know, like the maid that I’ve been that sees herself on the stage, or the houseboy or what have you. And then I thought I’d end up as a clown, [Laughs] you know. And all clowns are happy and sad. So I figured if you can sell sex, comedy, and a little tragedy, people love to see you suffer. [Coughs] Ooo, believe me, I’ve suffered. [Laughs]

Oh, I’ve suffered expensively—[Laughs] I mean extensively [laughs] and, um, in my suffering, like, uh, well, you know, it’s always a torch song, I guess. And in my nightclub act, after I get through being this hip, I become this, uh, well, just this girl who wants to be herself, you know. And it’s always somethin’ like, um…

Oh, “Funny Girl” is great, good for an example, ah, where has taken all her money, you know, the Fanny Brice story, and she’s in the dressing room getting herself together and he’s saying I’ve already blown 65 grand on your bread, I can’t take any more, Fanny, please, let’s part. And she says, I don’t care about the money, John, stay with me. And he says, no, Fanny, [Laughs] this is it; I must go. [Laughs]

And then the curtain goes up, and it says, and now, the Ziegfeld Follies presents Funny Girl. And out she comes, worrying about this man. [Laughs] [Singing] “I know he’s around when the sky and the ground start in ringing. [Laughs] …eyes that adore him.” [Laughs]

Click
Static
Click
Click

SHIRLEY
How we doin’?

JASON
Great.

SHIRLEY
Great
Roll two, mag three, 70 feet left.
Okay, bring him in.

Sound of movement

JASON
You know, it’s a funny feelin’ having a picture made…

…about you. I mean, I think I really dig it, [Laughs] you know. I feel sorta grand sitting here, you know, and I’m carryin’ on. [Laughs.] People are gonna be diggin’ ya, you know. I’m gonna be criticized. I’ll be loved or hated or what have you. [Laughs] What difference does it make? I am doing what I want to do, and it’s a nice feeling that somebody’s taking a picture of it. [Laughs] This is a picture I can save forever. No matter how many more times I may goof or be ridiculous, (sound of traffic in the distance) I will have one beautiful something that’s my own, you know. And I really, for once in my life, was together, and this the result of it. And, uh, it is a nice feelin’. [Laughs.]

SHIRLEY
Out.

An electric hum
Click, hum disappears
Sound of lighting a joint

SHIRLEY
You smokin’ shit.

JASON
Oh, you know, (sound of an exhale) money has always been a… a big hang-up with me. [Laughs] I’ve never really had any, but I’ve always managed to…I get enough to survive. I guess I’m kind of ashamed of myself [Laughs] with other people, that this nightclub act will, will bother me until the day I die, but I’m going to do this nightclub act. [Laughs]

As I say, I’ve talked about it so long, and it was always the money. You know, several friends said to me like, uh, if you want to do anything badly enough, you don’t need any money. But I always needed everything that went with it. [Laughs] And somehow it didn’t seem like I thought I should work for it.

And I’d go to friends, people, and get into my bag of sob, song and sorrow, and I’m telling you, when I get pathetic, [Laughs] I’m one of the most pathetic things in the world. [Laughs.] I mean, you can believe that. And, uh, people would, uh, I guess feel sorry for me. But at the time I was doin’ this thing, I, I really intended to do, you know, what I set out to do. But, I mean, when you don’t get around to it for ten years – [laughs] – you know, and you have to decide, you know, who are you bullshittin’? And then the people, [Laughs] it gets to a point where you go through so many people that you have to keep movin’ [laughs] I mean, you really get tired.

So I figure one day I’m gonna have to make a lot of money because, uh, I won’t be able to face a lotta people, [laughs]. And I’m sure when I got it, I hope they appear, ’cause I sure would like to lay some on ’em. [Laughs] And they don’t want the money. Some people just wanna see you make it, you know. And you just keep rankin’ yourself, and know with good people who really dig ya, and you see ’em five years from now – [laughs] – and they say, “Oh, you. Yeah. [Laughs.] I remember. Oh, what about that nightclub act?” [Laughs.] That nightclub act is somethin’, somethin’ that my folks don’t understand.

I think my father has financed it so many times that all he says to me is, like, you know, [laughs] “You better get outta my face.” [Laughs.] And I have the nerve to keep tryin’, you know. I figure…I used to figure – I really am tryin’ to cool it now – I used to figure if they went for it once, if you wait long enough – [laughs] – you know, and go back again, they uh, they, they get some kinda thing that it’s just that you had the nerve to come back and, you know, they figure, well, he can’t be all bad, you know. So boom, they take another chance. Again, no nightclub act. [Laughs] And then I guess that thing, a conscience starts to bother ya. A couple of headshrinkers been botherin’ me, too, lately. But I think now I’m botherin’ them. [Laughs.] I didn’t show up the other day and I’ve gotten six calls. [Laughs.]

Click
Electric hum

SHIRLEY
[Laughs]
[Laughs] okay.

Click
Electric hum
Static

SHIRLEY
Jason, sit on the floor against the chair there.

JASON
I want you to smile. You’re so pretty. Really, I dig it. I really do, you know, like it’s…it’s a thrill. Gee.

Click, static stops

SHIRLEY
Okay, Jason, you can start.

Click

Three chimes

Click

JASON
As I say, (ice rattles) gettin’ ready for the nightclubs, you gotta be…girlfriend of mine, a singer, said get everything goin’ for ya. [Laughs]. I’ve been goin’ to the medical doctor, go to the headshrinker. I been to so many clinics it ain’t even funny. And these headshrinkers are very interesting guys. You know, they never know what they’re gonna talk about. Sometimes they let you talk. I know it’s, um, not hip for them to tell you what you say, but I guess it’s all right if I tell you a couple of things they said. (Ice rattles). They keep wantin’ to know, like, who you sleep with, and wanna ask me what do you do, and do you do them, and how large is it, and…and I said, and then goin’ on to the next subject, (ice rattles) and do they say you’re good? Who says you’re good? Do they all say it? Do you think you got a nice body? I say yes. [Laughs.]

He says, well, how big is it? I said, well, I never, you know.
Well, say, they say it’s nine inches, (ice rattles) eight, I don’t know. He says, well, do you think that’s a large one? [Laughs] (ice rattles) I said, well, I don’t – [laughs] – know, you know. It’s good enough. So he says, uh, do you please them? [Laughs] And I said, if I don’t please ’em, it’s because I’m not tryin’. [Laughs.] (ice rattles) And I don’t know what he said, you know. Then the other one interrupted and he said, well, how often do you do it? I said, every day. Well, (ice rattles) I used to. I said that was the old me.

You know, I said, like some people like museums, and they spend all day lookin’ at pictures. I spend all day – [laughs] – lookin’ at people. (ice rattles) It’s the same form of art, really. [Laughs.] It’s just a little more strenuous. [Laughs]

Ice rattles

But I mean, and these cats, you know, one little young fat chubby one. The other one looks like, uh – [laughs] – you untouchable. [Laughs.]

Click.

Static.

I told him the other day, I said, I think you’re a cop, you know. [Laughs.] I been busted, you know, by you cats.

SHIRLEY
Okay.

Click

Sound of movement

SHIRLEY
Hey Jason, do one of your nightclub bits.

JASON

Okay. Hey, man, throw me that bag.
(sound of bag being thrown in the room).
Thank you.
Now, in this bag I have some very groovy props.
(Faint sound of rifling through bag)
These are props. [Laughs] You know all actors have props. This particular prop was given to me by a very nice young lady who is a waitress in a restaurant we eat in on Eighth Avenue and 22nd Street. And this is what you call a picture hat. Now, a picture hat is something that’s worn by a lady. [Laughs] And my favorite lady from Hollywood was Miss Mae West. And Mae was one, you know, a way out chick, you know. [Laughs] I think she’s really a female faggot, but – [laughs] – she’s cool. And, uh, I’d like to give you a few lines of Mae’s from some of her, you know, more famous productions. She had a nice big brown dark-skinned maid named Beulah, and she was layin’ back in her bedroom one day and she said, “Beulah, peel me a grape.” [Laughs.] She told W.C. Fields in a flick one night, she says – after the Honeymoon – she puts a goat in the bed. She says, “Now, you just lay there lambie boy, everything is gonna be all right long as you keep your mouth shut.” [Laughs.] Fields is in the tub goin’ ra-da-da-da-da, a-rr-a-rr-
a-rr. [Laughs.] “Now, my, my, hairy little fella, isn’t he?” She’s up on the hill meetin’ some cat. He jumps off a horse bandit style, gives her a pot of gold, big kiss, jumps on the horse, splits. [Laughs]. She stands there dangling the bag of gold and she says, “Farewell my quickest one.” [Laughs]

SHIRLEY

[Laughs] Great.

JASON
Whee. Lovely hat. Nobody can wear these big hats but Mae and me. [Laughs.]

Click

Ahhh.

Slight static

If my mother could see me now. [Laughs.]

Click

Static disappears

Guess who? Scarlett O’Hara. Tara. Tara. What’s happened to Tara? “Miss Melanie had her baby today, ’cause it was me that helped to bring it. It was mostly me. [Laughs] It was a little baby girl, yeah. Yes, but this, Mr. Butler, Miss Melanie said for you to come out here and talk to me, ’cause you got to get us a carriage, and we got to go up to Atlanta, ’cause the Yankees is comin’, and Mr. Butler, I’s scared!” [Laughs.]

SHIRLEY
That’s nice, that’s nice

JASON
Oh, there was other good things to take material from, like, uh, Carmen Jones is a favorite, favorite, favorite thing of mine. And I’m gonna show you all the Carmen Jones. Here we go. Carmen was a real swingin’ chick that upset a cigarette factory, and the soldier went AWOL, and everything she touched just sizzled.

And of course Pearl Bailey was in that show keepin’ everything goin’. She was talkin’ about beatin’ out some rhythm on the drums. Oh, yeah, you can beat out that rhythm of the drums. And um-da-da-da, [Laughs] and the drum will beat, [Laughs] oh Lord, give it a good hard lick and you can beat out that rhythm. [Laughs] Well, beat it out, yes. [Laughs.]

Sound of Jason breathing

Click

Slight static

Click

SHIRLEY
What else have you got?

JASON
Mmm…

SHIRLEY
Do one that makes you cry.

JASON
Oh, yes [Laughs] got to cry. I have to do the end. “Hello, Mother. Hello, Dad. The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower. I carried them on my wedding day, and now I place them here in memory of something that’s died. You know, one should really pay attention when one says good-bye, ’cause one might be saying farewell.” [Laughs.]

Electric hum

click

Shoo. Carl.

SHIRLEY
Out.

JASON
Love, I’ve been in love. Let me tell you about some of the people that I’ve loved. [Laughs] I’ve been in love once many times – you know. I can fall in and out of love as fast as you can turn on the electric lights. [Laughs] But when I do it, I’m not jivin’. I’m serious, you know. I can be hurt in a second. And I can make you feel that you’re the most desirable human being that ever walked this earth in that same second. I mean, it’s…it’s [Laughs] just something about me. [Laughs.] I have a way with, you know, like gettin’ my shit across. And when I’m serious, I come up with some pretty groovy results. Like, uh, any mother grabber you can talk into doin’ what you want him to do, he ain’t no mother grabber at all, but you figured, all right, let’s play with this turkey, you know. Have a little fun. That’s like, um, you’re one on the house.

And I’ve done whatever people wanted, poppers in their nose [Laughs] and fingers up their ass. [Laughs.] Heads in water and golden showers and oh, for god’s sake. Anything.
Nothin’ is too far out to do, you know. I’m just bona fide freaksville, you know. Whatever you say.

SHIRLEY
Out.

Sound of movement

JASON
Sometimes I get bored, and I think the nicest place to party is in the male whorehouse, and the Turkish baths are good for that. And as you know, I’m an experimental queen. [Laughs.] Oh, I’ll experiment with anything one time. I take a box of poppers in there and I’m in the steam room, get everybody into a scene. Oh, the cats are swingin’, they’re reachin’ across the rafters, and ah, ooh, the place is smokin’, and I’m poppin’ these idiotic little things all over the place. And everybody’s havin’ a ball, and I [Laughs] panicked. [Laughs.] I said, somethin’s burnin’. [Laughs.] The joint’s on fire. [Laughs.] I said, somethin’ is burnin’. [Laughs] And it was me. [Laughs]

SHIRLEY
Okay, take him in.

Sound of static grows louder

Click

Gravelly static

Click

Click

Slight electric hum and static

JASON
Da-da, da-da-da-da-dee.

Static sound grows louder

Click

JASON
[Laughs] I go… uh [laughs] …the way of all flesh. [Laughs.] Now that’s the truth. [Laughs.] That’s the truth, so help me God if I’ve ever told it. [Laughs.] I’m a truth teller now, and there’s not a lie in me. [Laughs.] I think I’m losing my mind. But nevertheless, it’s servin’ the purpose. I’m telling you life is what you make it you know. I hang out with a lotta ofays and show business, you know, like I’ve been strivin’ for that nightclub. And, uh…they’re all very, very warm and nice, for one reason. As long as the white boy finds out that you don’t wanna screw the white girl, then you kinda in, you know. So then you’re just all one big gay family together, you know. [Laughs] As long as they think that you’re more interested in the man in there than in the woman, then everything is cool. So, uh, you become nice then, you know; you’re safe to have around.

SHIRLEY
Carl, you wanna step in here?

CARL
Mmm yeah. Mmm. Sorry. I was in the back. Jason, uh, spade queens?

JASON
Oh, nothin’ grander.

CARL
Tell us about Big Tough, Jason. Big Tough, what’s he talkin’ about?

JASON
[Laughs] Brother Tough. [laughs]

CARL
Yeah, Brother Tough. Yeah, him. Brother Tough

JASON
Yeah, there’s one thing about folks, they will give each other nicknames, you know. My father is the character of my family, he really is. His name [Laughs] Brother Tough [Laughs] When I was a little kid, people used to pass by the house and say, “Hey, Fanny, is old Tough home?”

CARL
[laughs]

JASON
And I have a brother who was groovy, nice quiet cat. And my father’s got muscles bulgin’ for days, and he’s a bad operator, you know, big time gambler, bootlegger. And I’m out in the street [Laughs] skipping rope. [Laughs.]

CARL
[laughs]

JASON
Tough don’t dig this too much. [Laughs.] What can he do? I’m his. [Laughs.] I’m a very sensitive, sweet child, you know. I mean, I want the better things in life. I don’t wanna be tough. But I’m Tough’s son. [Laughs.] Oh, that got rough at time – [laughs] – um, I just got into his eyesight of just makin’ him sick – [laughs] – you know. Every time he looked at me, he didn’t believe it, you know. He’d have to stop sometimes in his own nice little Alabama way and say, “Why you do that?” [Laughs.] You know? And he’d say, “It just makes me wanna knock your head up,” you know. And I didn’t have sense enough [Laughs] I didn’t have sense enough to get outta the way, and he’d give it a few gay knocks, you know. [Laughs]

And I was always doin’ somethin’ to keep this man on my ass, [Laughs] honest to God. You woulda thought I dug it; you know. And I was really just screamin’ to get out. But every day I managed to mess up, and Tough would come with that big razor strap and make me lay across the bed. [Laughs] And I love the way he [Laughs] explained it to you. Lay down across the bed, and now they gonna whip your behind. And don’t move and don’t holler. [Laughs] And they ain’t gonna tear up them clothes they bought you, you know, [Laughs] the pants is comin’ down. They’re gonna tear your natural ass, you understand. [Laughs.] And if you jump too much, you know, you get more punch. The more still you lie, you know, the less pain your tail will get applied. [Laughs] And – wow, I used to get it every day.
My mother used to say to me, “Don’t you get tired of him knockin’ you in the head every day for the same thing? Why don’t you wise up?” you know. So I said, okay, I’ll be cool, you know. And then I got to the point where I got evil. [Laughs] If they said don’t do it, I did it, you know. And I’d go someplace where I know I didn’t belong, I’d stay there.

CARL
Hey Jason. Tell about that time you stood up to Big Tough

JASON
Oh, [Laughs] one day I lost my head. Tell ’em about the time I stood up to him. Oh, tell ’em about that time. Don’t ever stand up to Tough. [Laughs] I lost my head [laughs], and he hit me, and I said, “Oh, enough of you,” you know. [Laughs.] And I ran back. And my mother ran, she was so surprised. “Hold it.” [Laughs] “No,” my father says, “Let him go!” And I said, “Oh, no. Let me…” [Laughs.] “Let me at him.” [Laughs.] “I wanna get him.” And my mother, oh, she’s losin’ her mind. [Laughs.] My mother said, “I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.” [Laughs.] Gets a gun out the drawer. [Laughs] He starts guttin’ me across…

My mother’s screamin’, [Laughs.] My father says, “Get him outta here.” “Help me, uh-uh, uh.” Oh! [Laughs.] These rotten neighbors in the street are sayin’ things like, “Why don’t you pick up somethin’ and hit him in the head?” [Laughs.] Oh, Lord. What a childhood. But I’ll never tell. [Laughs.]

Click

Three Chimes

Click

My mother. My mother. She was a nice colored lady. She was of quality. [Laughs.] I mean, uh, white folks was proud of her ’cause she knew her place. [Laughs.] And she stayed in it. And she protected me to the day she died, may her soul rest – [laughs] – in peace. But nevertheless, I mean, you have these memories. And, uh, they’ll bring ’em out of ya. If you try to forget, they gonna get to ya somehow. So all you have to do is just cleanse your soul and say hallelujah, you know. I escaped them mother grabbers. [Laughs.] You go on to the next scene.

SHIRLEY
Jason did you hate your mother?

JASON
Ugh, well, I tried to, but then I got pregnant. [Laughs.] Mothers are the most beautiful people in the world about knowin’ what’s happenin’. I mean, she will always stand by a boy. And that’s why they say a boy that sticks to his mother will never go wrong. And I had…uh…my mother was beautiful to me, ’cause when I first started carrying on in the dormitories, [Laughs] I didn’t know that the boys’ exclusive thing straight up was, you know. I just thought everybody was, uh, broad… [Laughs] I don’t know what I thought.

But the trouble with me at that time was I didn’t think at all. I was just wild. I was wild, black and crazy, [Laughs] and I had a white boy fever that was E-I-O-yay-yay. [Laughs] And I had a gift of gab like nothing along with them Brooks Brother clothes, and, uh, they saw me, you know, like sitting up in their country estates and da-da-da, and entertaining, and singing that goddamn Whiffenpoof song, [Laughs] and whatever else you go through with ’em, and oh, boy, I went through changes with those gorgeous little white boys.

CARL
Hey, yo Jason. Did your…did your mother ever talk to you about, you know, being a fag?

JASON
My mother, just once… [Laughs] What you can do to a mother that can destroy her for once and for all, and you…you never can face again, da- da da-da. All she has to do [Laughs] is see you suck one prick, you know, [Laughs] and nobody can tell her anything else the rest of – [Laughs] you’re a cocksucker, you know. And she thinks [Laughs] you’re like her father, so she made [Laughs] she’s made a mistake twice. You know, how dumb can a bitch be? [Laughs] And then she’s black, too? Ooh, god. [Laughs] Mmm.

Click

Static

And I wasn’t 12 years old before I knew every last damn pimp, whore, bull dagger in town. And I was makin’ some coins from it, plus enjoying myself, [Laughs] you know. And finding out exactly what was happening, you know. And then they look at me and say you’re queer. [Laughs.]

Click

Static fades

Oh, the people just don’t know, child. They just don’t know.

CARL
Hey, man, hey. Jason, talk about, talk about your ass. Talk about the first time you were fucked.

JASON
Uh, the first time I ever was forced to do it. What happens to you when you’re first ever forced to do it? I went into one of them places, and fell out, you know, from bein’ drunk and over anxious to get inside someplace the night before. And the first thing I heard in the mornin’ was a great big black burly cat sayin’, “Open your eyes and [Laughs] where your big black ass has led you to be.” [Laughs] Ooh, that hurt. [Laughs.] That really hurt, you know.

Click

Static

I mean, I sat up that mornin’ and I took notice. [Laughs] Shew, hoo-hoo-hoo- hoo.

Click

Static disappears

Now if you can cope with that, man, you can…you can just [Laughs] just about make anything, you know.

CARL
Yeah, you a horny motherfucker, right?

JASON
[Laughs] Stayed that way, you know.

CARL
Shit

JASON
How am I doing?

SHIRLEY
You’re doin fine Jason.

JASON
Did I [Laughs] did I goof, Shirley?

SHIRLEY
No, man, everything’s straight. No sweat.

CARL
Straight?

Jason, Carl and Shirley laugh

JASON
Yeah, [Laughs] it gets next to ya that you’re livin’ some bullshit that really shouldn’t exist, but you’re sayin’, oh, god this is my life, you know. And I am going to swing with it, you know. Oh, shit, hell or high water. I’m the bitch. [Laughs.] And this is what I wanna do, then motherfucker, do it, you know, and do it and tell it, like how you squirmed out of it, or you knocked down cockroaches and how you ate shit, you know, and really enjoyed that, too, because all of that was a part of living up to what you wanna be able to say and do right now. [Laughs.] Yes, and I think that, um, I’m all right now.

CARL
Tell it like it is, man.

JASON
Yeah.

CARL

Tell it like it is.

JASON
Yeah, tell it like it is. [Laughs.] I am a queen for a day. [Laughs.] Long after Dinah came Jason. [Laughs. Carl laughs] I think Dinah would have liked that. Dinah.

Click

Static

Oh, there coulda never been anyone finer. [Laughs] This girl had some blues in her heart and soul that didn’t just naturally come from Carolina. It came from Dinah Lee. And I tell you, there used to be the times that I was so gasolitical [Laughs] to sit and gaze in…to the eyes…

Click

Static disappears

…of the queen’s place. Yes, she spoke of many a new daydream to me. She treated me like a prince
Oh, she called me bitches and all kindsa dirty names, but that was only her way of tellin’ me how much she loved me. And I realized how fortunate I was being around such a beautiful woman who was all heart and expression.

Yes, the queen. [Laughs.] To the queen. Dinah. No, there could never be any chick finer. [Laughs] From here…

…to the state of Carolina.

CARL
Dang. That, that fucking song.

Click

Electric hum

Click

JASON
[Laughs] Oh, god, I loved her I lover her. (ice rattling faintly ) I love you, Richard. I do. You’ll see.

CARL
Oh, yeah?

JASON
Don’t trust me, Richard. Don’t trust me. ‘Cause I’m out to get you. [Laughs] You, baby. I want to fuck you up. [Laughs] I want to fuck you up so you’ll be mine.

CARL
Oh. Do you now?

JASON
Oh, hell, no. [Laughs] Shit, no. Like you and me. What a groovy understanding and all your eggs in one basket, mother. [Laughs.]

SHIRLEY
Now really try to tell this. This is the last roll of film we’ve got.

JASON
Oh, bring me a bottle.

SHIRLEY
Bring your bottle.

CARL
And get my roach.

SHIRLEY
And your roach.

JASON
Bring along your wares, [Laughs] ‘cause you’re goin’ to a party, Miss Fairland. So after a while you say who gives a shit. [Laughs]

SHIRLEY
Okay, take him in.

CARL
Zooming in.

Sound of movement

JASON
And you just don’t. You tell it like it is. [Laughs]
CARL
Come on Jason, don’t come on cute with me now. You’ve got a long memory, man.

SHIRLEY
Did you ever do something real bad?

JASON
Oh.

CARL
Remember those dirty, rotten…

JASON
Euh. [Laughs]

CARL
you wrote about that

JASON
Hoo.

CARL
[Laughs] And you were just laying in the Bowery as a bum.

CARL
What did you tell those lies for, Jason? Why’d you do that to me, man? You’re just a rotten queen.

JASON
Oh, I couldn’t have been that low. Oh, I didn’t. Ooh, no!

CARL
Just ’cause I wouldn’t lend you a few lousy dollars.

JASON
And, that’s where it’s at. [Laughs]

CARL
You had to put you or use your evil shit down

JASON
Oh, Carl, carl, carl, listen to me.

CARL
Impossible to treat you decent

JASON
Without you…Without you, I wouldn’t know anything about anything. And if you don’t know that I love you, then [Laughs] man, you don’t know anything about anything

CARL
Yeah but why did you try and undo me?

JASON
Ah. I guess…I guess because I was subconsciously jealous. I figured, why did it always have to be you? And never me? And I did everything I could to please you

CARL
Jason, you try to please everybody.

JASON
Yes. And that was a mistake, too, because you only got so much energy.

And I just spent so much time being a nervous wreck. But I guess I never really had any fun at all.

CARL
Your fun was that you were always willin’ to hurt people

JASON
I was, yeah, a vicious cunt

Click

Three chimes

Click

Thought I was sharp with the buck. Ha. Do you know how much that hurts? It only hurts when you think of it, and if you’re real…

Click

Static

…you’ll think of it a long, long time. That’s for sure. Those are the dues.

Click

Static disappears

And face it.

CARL
And, uh, is that why you won’t talk about it now?

JASON
Right. But we kissed and made up last week, and I hope it’s not too soon. ‘Cause if I blow it again, there goes my last groovy friend.

CARL
What’d you do to blow it before, Jason? Fuck around?

JASON
Oh, yes, I just wouldn’t cooperate and I would get drunk and be ridiculous, and oh, I’d kinda, like a real male bitch. [Laughs] But we all get our chances to go through that. But it’s just, it’s just Carmen always was very lenient, you know. I gotta give a broad credit. [Laughs] Carmen is an exceptionable woman. Carmen says everybody’s full of shit to a – [laughs] – certain extent, but you know where to draw the line, you know. And I would always forget where to draw the line.

And then Carmen would have to put her foot in my ass – [laughs] – you know, and she’d say, “Bitch, I’m telling you to straighten up.”

CARL
Okay, so, so what’s gonna happen if you blow her again?

JASON
I blew her. And I suffered. Oh, your mother suffered. Every good friend of ours, including Carl and Richard and Betty, Willy Bobo, people that know that I really love these people and that I have, like, made a booboo, but I’m tryin’.

SHIRLEY
You lonely?

JASON
Lonely, [Laughs] I’m desperate. [Laughs] But I’m cool.

SHIRLEY
You should be lonely.

JASON
Yeah, I should suffer.

CARL
Yeah, suffer, fool.

JASON
I should suffer because I have no rights.

SHIRLEY
You’re not suffering.

JASON
Who says I’m suffering? [Laughs]

CARL
Jason, come on

JASON
The welfare’s paying.

SHIRLEY
Right, how’d you con the welfare into paying?

JASON
I declared insanity. [Laughs] I said I was a sick… [Laughs.] Oh, you won’t believe this. A sick queen. [Laughs.] From foragin’ descent. [Laughs.] How foragin’ could you be, you know? I said, just as foragin’ as it would take for the check to descent here. [Coughs.]

Click

Static

[Laughs] That went over big.

CARL
Damn

JASON
Oh, gee. [Laughs] And then I got weak and I was humble and I needed sympathy.

SHIRLEY
What do you mean by humble?

JASON
Well, I was phony. That’s what humble means, right? First of all, you look at a colored boy and say you’re humble? Who’s any prettier in the white of Carl’s eyes?

Click

Three chimes

Click

Static disappears

And if I can’t lie or tell the truth to Carl, I can’t tell it to anyone. But that’s show biz.

Electric hum

Click

CARL
Yeah, that’s why you ain’t it too much, ‘cause you’re full of shit.

JASON
Well, teach me tonight. I mean, I been beggin’ you to teach me.

CARL
Bullshit

JASON
You can teach meeeeeee

CARL
Jason cut the shit

JASON
You can teach me.

CARL
Be honest, motherfucker. Stop that acting, will you? God damn bullshit.

JASON
I’m not acting, Carl.

CARL
You’re such a liar

JASON
Oh, you’re right again.

CARL
Yeah, exactly, right. Just stop it. Cut the shit out. Damn, Jason, so full of shit.

JASON
Oh, shut up. Oh, Robert, I love you. Oh, and I want you.

CARL
Jason fuckin’ Holliday.

JASON
[Laughs] You better say that again

CARL
Jason fuckin’ Holliday

JASON
And smile. [Laughs]

CARL
And that’s why you’re full of shit.

JASON
I beg your pardon

CARL
Man, you’re really fucked up

JASON
Well, [Laughs] now you hip. [Laughs] Now I gotta cope with your ass

CARL
Yeah, exactly

JASON
I thought you were just gonna be gratis.

SHIRLEY
Ha ha hmm

CARL
Always, always free

SHIRLEY
[Laughs]

JASON
Oh, thanks a lot. (Carl laughs) Well, then I’ll kiss your ass any day in Macy’s window. At high noon, queen. Marlon Brando jacket and all.

CARL
And you think I’d let you?

JASON
How could you resist? [Laughs] Oh, let’s bitch about it a little while.

CARL
I don’t want no part of you, man. You’re a fuckin’ nasty bitch.

JASON
Ooh, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, [Laughs] especially a man.

CARL
Listen. Your only thing Jason is being mad. You hear me, bitch? You’re blowing your own thing. A lot of fuckin’ bread. You ain’t gonna get another chance.

JASON
Tell me where to stop, Carl!

CARL
Won’t get another chance.

JASON
Tell me where to stop, Carl.

CARL
You have one time.

JASON
I felt it.

CARL
Watch it man.

JASON
Nobody’s business now but my own.

CARL
It’s not getting through yet. You have anything else you want to say?

JASON
No more to say.

CARL
You ain’t had nothin’ to say yet.

JASON
That’s the drag. [Laughs]

CARL
It’s truth.

JASON
That’s the beautiful truth. But it’s still the truth, Carl.

CARL
Uh-huh

JASON
And that’s the basis of something

CARL
You foolin’ yourself baby

JASON
Stick with me, Carl.

CARL
Fuck you

JASON
Oh, you do. [Laughs] Oh, thanks a lot Oh all I need now is to have an orgasm and— [Laughs]

CARL
Let’s see that

JASON
See what?

CARL
Let’s see ya have an orgasm

JASON
Ah! Ha ha ha ha.

Click

Static

Thanks a lot Marvin.

SHIRLEY
Fine, fine, fine. Very good. I think we’ve all had enough.

JASON
[Laughs] Well, that was beautiful. I’m happy about the whole thing.

SHIRLEY
Good. That’s nice. The end. That’s it. It’s over. The end.

Static disappears

Three chimes

Meshell Ndegeocello’s “Cword Instrumental” begins playing and plays underneath:

HILTON
For now, we express gratitude to Mikéah Ernest Jennings, who was our Jason, Jessica Almasy, who was our Shirley Clarke, and myself as Carl. Music by Meshell Ndegeocello, audio production by Alex Barron and casting by Taylor Williams. Look and listen for future productions from me and the fine folks at New York Theatre Workshop. Until then, yours in listening.

Music fades out